Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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