WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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