btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
