call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize