Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
