just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
