Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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