dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
