But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
