How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
