I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
