Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize