for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
