Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
