With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
