Pregnant stripper...not hot.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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