Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Of course I have a pirate flag
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
