I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize