umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
