Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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