4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The Olympian is in my bed
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
