Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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