she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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