It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
