we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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