Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Congratulations! We have a period
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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