and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
