do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize