Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
