i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Randomize
