Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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