I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
