Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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