So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
