zippers are such a cool invention
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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