Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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