hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
