I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
