Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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