So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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