i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
