We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
