So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
