Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She bit a glass in half.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
