sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize