Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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