barbara walters just said penis...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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