i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
