guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
