first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Randomize