I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
