dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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