I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
