Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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