it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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