I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
