i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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