I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
