I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
