Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
