you guys were way drunker than both of me
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
