when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
