I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Randomize
