at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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