so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
