In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
