Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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